Tabitha Cato: The Case of the Perfidious Pig

Delbert Pigg lay face down in a puddle of blood.  Delbert had always been an affable, although a bit untidy, fellow, so the police were completely baffled by the violence against Mr. Pigg.  Stumped, they called on the services of the renowned feline detective Tabitha Cato.

As Tabitha arrived on the scene, a human, Dr. Doohickey was examining the body.  Members of the Pigg family stood close by, along with Daisy Cowherd, Edward Horsey, and Ronald Duck.

“It appears that Delbert was killed with a blunt instrument to the back of the head.”  Dr. Doohickey paused before continuing, “It was probably very painful, and there was a good chance Delbert lay in agony until he finally bled out.”

There were gasps and tears from the onlookers.  Tabitha shook her head.  Dr. Doohickey definitely did not know how to talk to the animals. 

Tabitha’s first suspect was Wiley Wolfe.  She knew that Delbert and Mr. Wolfe had disagreed over the poor construction of Delbert’s home.  Wolfe had claimed it was one of the finest homes he had built, while Pigg had claimed it was so flimsy it would fall over with just a huff or puff of a breeze.

However, Wiley had an alibi.  He claimed that he was having tea with Red’s grandmother, the day of the murder.  Her Grandmother backed up Wiley’s claim.  “Yes, he was quite the gentleman,” Grandma said.  He even brought some wolfsbane to try, very tasty.”

Red, the local break-dancing sensation, shook her head.  “Grandmother’s relationship with Mr. Wolfe isn’t healthy.  It’s like she doesn’t see who he really is.”

Tabitha agreed.  “I’m afraid that one day their relationship will end in tragedy.”

Red nodded in agreement.

Tabitha shook her head and turned her attention to Mr. Foxe, who was always a suspect when something went wrong.  However, when she questioned him, he was his usual reticent self, and she got nothing useful from him.

She reported her conversation to her police liaison, Officer McDuff.  “So, just what did the Foxe say?” he asked.

“Nothing helpful,” replied Tabitha.

However, Foxe was later cleared when two musicians came forward and said he was making a video with them.  Tabitha viewed the video and confirmed Foxe was in it, and had to admit he had some good dance moves.

Stumped, Tabitha went back to examine Delbert’s home more closely.  She immediately noticed the big sign hanging on the wall proudly proclaiming the living room “Pigg’s Sty.”  She turned up her nose at the pizza boxes piled up in the corner, the beer cans strewn about the room, and the dirty plates and napkins lying about haphazardly.  Intermingled were several snack wrappers, but contrary to local rumors, there were none for Pork Rinds. There was also a faded University of Arkansas pennant on the wall. 

This was nothing like the meticulous way Tabitha kept her house.  Disgusted, Tabitha felt an overwhelming need to groom herself.  Once she felt clean, she proceeded to the bedroom, trying to touch as little as possible. 

Things were no cleaner here.  The bed was unmade, and there were several stains on the comforter.  Tabitha didn’t even want to guess what those were from. 

She proceeded to Pigg’s desk and was surprised to see a membership card to the local fitness center.  Upon closer examination, she realized it had expired months ago.  There were several bills of sale to the local Piggly Wiggly; it seemed Delbert was very good at finding truffles.  Interesting.

Tabitha moved to examine the bookcase.  There was some light-hearted fare, such as “A Pig, A Fox, and Sticky Sox,” along with more serious reading, such as “Charlotte’s Web” and “Pearl.”

She was about to leave the disgusting bedroom when her sharp eyes spotted a book on the top shelf that seemed out of place.  It was jammed in tightly, and at first it wouldn’t budge, until Tabitha inserted her claws and gave it a good yank.  The book came out with a satisfying rip and emerged slightly clawed up.  Tabitha smiled. It had been a while since she used her claw stick, and seeing the ripped paper gave her satisfaction.

Tabitha immediately noticed that the book didn’t fit in with the others, and that might have been the reason it was crammed in the back, almost out of sight.  Out of habit, she sniffed the book.  It smelled of dust and neglect.  She placed it on the desk and studied it.  “Psychedelic Mushrooms of the World.” 

Hmmm, what would Delbert be doing with this? 

And then it hit her.  She raced into the kitchen and began searching through the pantry.  There were the usual canned goods, some expired, and a recipe book on the best way to make swill.  Then she spotted what she was looking for.  Hidden in the very back was a Ziplock bag filled with mushrooms.  Tabitha unzipped the bag and sniffed.  Her suspicions were confirmed; these weren’t ordinary mushrooms; these were the kind that sent you to the top of trees without having to claw your way up or left you floating in a sea of catnip.  Apparently, Delbert was skilled at detecting other types of mushrooms as well.

This revelation had the musky scent of Barrett Weasel all over it.  Barrett was rumored to be dealing in many illegal substances, narcotic lichen, locoweed, and yage, but he had always been able to dodge the charges.  He was slippery as a…Tabitha stifled a chuckle. 

Well, today he’d met his match.

Knowing Barrett enjoyed a drink or two, Tabitha sent an invitation for Barrett to join her at The Elk Room. It had several side rooms for private conversations and Tabitha knew it would be purrfect.

Wearing her most striking gown, Tabitha slowly slinked over to Barrett.  She signaled to the bartender and ordered a Mouse Moscato and a bowl of rabbit stew for Weasel.  Since she was working on a case, she passed on her usual catnip shooter and ordered water for herself instead.

Sidling up next to him, she softly purred, “I hear you got some prime Asian Nip in.”

Barrett shifted nervously.  “Whatever made you say that?  We both know that’s illegal.”

Tabitha batted her long lashes and focused her green eyes on Weasel.  “Oh, come on, it has a funny name, like bob, or hop…”

“Pop,” said the Weasel.  “It’s called Asian Pop.”  Then he coughed and looked down.  “At least that’s what I’ve heard.”

Tabitha put one paw under his chin and tickled him. How disgusting.  The things I have to do to solve cases.

 “I heard you have connections, Barrett.  You could make one pussy cat very happy.”

Barrett licked his lips as he gazed at Tabitha.  She sensed his interest and pulled out the final bait as she prepared to reel him in.

She held up the Ziplock bag of mushrooms.  “I’m prepared to pay you; how much do you think these are worth?” 

Barrett’s eyes got big, and he was practically salivating.  Unable to resist any longer, Barrett jerked forward, reaching for the mushrooms.  Tabitha was ready for him.  Her gentle padded paw at his neck turned into a claw, and she pulled the mushrooms out of reach.

“First, you’re going to tell me what happened to Delbert Pigg.” 

Weasel’s eyes got wide.  “I don’t know anything about that.”

Tabitha tightened her grip.  “Don’t try my patience.  I might get your neck confused with a sparkly toy.”

Seeing there was no way out, Weasel admitted to killing Delbert, but said he was only trying to rough Pigg up because he was holding out on him.  He hadn’t meant to hit him that hard.

Tabitha gave a soft “Meow,” and Officer McDuff emerged from the other room.

“I have everything on tape; he won’t slip away this time.”

As McDuff cuffed him, Weasel scowled in frustration, “All these years in business and I’m foiled by a fearless feline.”

Just then, Tabitha’s phone buzzed.  She glanced down at the name, Rabbit.  It was her friend Jessica.

I’ve got two tickets to the Reindeer games tonight.  Wanna come?  I heard that Naughty Rabbit is performing at halftime.

This should be interesting, Tabitha thought as she typed. 

Sounds like fun, I’m in.